so, since i haven't been documenting all of my dating adventures, i'm going to go back in the dating reel and highlight a few, more than anything i want to remember these and some are just too good to forget.
i will start by saying that this one, was genuinely a really nice guy, and absolutely EVERYTHING i say i want on paper, but when it came down to it, his personality to me, was like a dead fish. he was probably the first real christian guy that had actually taken me on a date and pursued me the way someone who is modeling Christ's heart should.
i was setup with this guy, who was a few years younger than me, but our first date was at firebirds in northlake. conversation flowed and we actually had a great time. we talked about so much and stayed at dinner for like three hours. he was a perfect gentleman. one thing to note, homeboy was a CPA, and i gathered pretty quickly that he was pretty frugal, you'll see why in a second. so, i like a steak and a good potato, but i really always feel like i should order a kid's size portion and another quirky thing about me is that i do not really ever eat leftovers. maybe i'll eat pizza or a few other items, but a general rule is that i don't like anything the second time around. so, i order my favorite steak at firebirds (even though i feel bad, as i know i will probably eat like 1/3 of it) and i'm thinking we don't know each other well enough for me to ask him to take my leftovers, so i'm going to feel even worse. so at the end of the meal, the waiter comes and i say, "no i don't need a box." after the waiter takes my plate, flat matt looks at me in complete disbelief, and says, "was something wrong with the steak?" i am like, no it was delicious, but i don't eat leftovers. he made me feel horrible for not offering them to him. he was completely shocked that i left all of that good steak go to waste and that he just paid for it, haha. other than this, first date was a success.
second date arrives, and he plans for us to see a movie in the middle of the afternoon on a sunday. i am okay with that, but he calls and only gives me two options. the help or courageous. i had already seen the help, which was phenominal, but it made me cry like a baby, no literally, uncontrollable crying and he knew that i had seen it. as for courageous, he had just seen it the wednesday prior, and i had heard that it was good, but very heavy. it was a christian movie, and it wasn't that i didn't want to see it, but i just didn't want to be sad on a date. so, i asked if there were any other options and he simply said no. wow, okay. so, i was a little irritated that i had to watch one of these, and didn't really want to see either, so i told him let's flip a coin to decide.... we did and courageous won (i was less than thrilled). it was a really good movie with a good message, but again, definitely not a good date movie. once we got back in his car after the movie was over, he wanted to talk about it and the message it sent to it's viewers. i jokingly said, it was so heavy and i am not going to lie, i really love a romantic comedy. he said, so you would say a romantic comedy is like a guilty please for you... my response, (laughing a bit), "um, well, i guess you could say that, but there are probably a lot of other things i would really consider my guilty pleasures." sounds like we will not be watching chick flicks, like ever, awesome. we then went to the italian pie, which is delicious, by the way. he let me look over the menu and then i told him i wanted the bbq chicken pizza, and he said, okay great, we can order one pizza and split it, wait what, we are sharing meals now. i guess after he saw me waste so much at the first place, he was going to make sure that didn't happen again. the thing is though, i can eat some pizza and i do eat leftovers with pizza, haha. it wasn't a big deal, but i saw mr. frugal coming out again.
so, the third date arrives, and he says we are going to go watch football with some friends of his. i am like, okay great, i love football so i should be good to go. we go over to his married friend's house and the thing he and i were not that comfortable with each other yet. we watched football for approximately 6 hours... we took a small break for froyo, but it was a long day. when we finally arrived back at his place, i was tired but was looking forward to us talking a little more and getting to know each other more since we had been with multiple couples and his friends all day.
i need to interrupt and tell you that he had not mdae me feel as though he was very interested in me at all, other than he continually ask to hang out or go on dates. because of my past, i am so used to guys kissing on the first date (if there even was a date), so the fact that he was not even coming within 10 feet of me, was a little different and odd to me. by the third date, and he still would not even sit close to me, i was beginning to wonder if we were staying in the friend zone.... so i decided to have a little talk with him. i will preface what i told him next with, i now know i was a little too harsh and at this point, i know that a guy that respects me and takes his time genuinely getting to know me would be so refreshing and a complete blessing, but for entertainment purposes, here goes....
i told him that i got the impression that he had read a lot of books on dating (too much to type as to why i knew this) and that while john piper, tim keller, joshua harris, etc... are all great authors with great dating guidelines and perhaps steps as to how you should approach dating in the christian world, that was real life and that in this particular situation between me and him, he had made me feel as though we were staying in the friendzone forever. i told him that there are small, simple, subtle ways a guy can make a girl know he is interested without kissing her, like putting his hand on her back when going into a place, or holding her hand during a movie, or something. i am sure i said a lot more, because i really don't hold back, can get me in trouble sometimes, but oh well, what can you do, i am trying to work on it.
so, i prayed and tried to see if i could maybe make there be some chemistry there, but unfortunately there was not. he was too much of a routine, scheduler, planner (haha, sounds like me) and sometimes i feel as though i need someone who is different than me, like i don't want to date the male version of me. i want someone who isn't afraid of spontaniety, who gives me more options that two movies, who can relax a little...
i think he is very happy dating someone else now and that is great. he really does deserve someone awesome, because like i said he has a lot going for him and he has a heart for Jesus, which is his best quality.
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