i wish i could say that i am making this up, but i am not. i was talking to some friends the other day and they were talking about how popular online dating has become. it is true, so many people do it, it has become somewhat like an online "bar" if you will. terrible feeling knowing you are paying for it, but it is less and less expensive, so along with the hidden gems comes the players and the scum bags (sorry, i have no other words for them) just like at bars. i hated bars and the bar scene in college and my feelings haven't changed a bit.
lately, i have had some real class acts or winners, if you will. i posted in a previous post my frustrations, so no need for that. what i will say to any single girl who is reading this, please be careful. there are so many people out there, online dating or not, that do not have good intentions, but they are good at covering this up. regardless, i thought i'd share my own version of some do's and don'ts in case some guys may happen to see this, please pay attention. so, here goes...
Do actually READ her profile. (i have no idea what the percentage is, but most do not)
Do pay attention to what she says, RESEPCT her wishes.
Do call. (enough said)
Do plan a date. (Be intentional)
Do take the time to get to know her, don't rush into things.
Do have fun.
(A guy once told me that he tries to remember that he has a sister that is dating and he would never want her being treated with disrespect or poorly, so he tries to respect girls he is dating by hoping and praying that guys are respecting his sister just the same.... maybe try thinking about it like that.)
Now for the don'ts (or at least in my book)::
Don't ask her within three minutes of getting her number to send you a pic, really? Didn't you see the pics I have posted on my profile and see that they are updated, not from 5 years ago. I rarely if ever take pictures of myself and would never take a "selfie" as they call it, so please do not ask me to do this. One guy admittedly said that he asks for it so he can save the picture with the girls name/number in his phone, as he can't keep them all straight, my response, "Wow."
Don't text a girl to get to know her. Text messages serve a great purpose, when you need to tell someone something, but don't need to call and have a conversation, or if you just want to tell someone you are thinking of them or praying for them, or if you want to have a quick little exchange. Text messages, in my book, are not to get to know each other over hours of broken convo back and forth. It is so not personal, and I cannot stand it. I actually tell every guy on match this and 99% do not listen or care, they still do it and do not call.
Don't ask a girl in appropriate questions during those initial conversations via text or phone. Keep in mind that you haven't met her and this is your first impression. Tonight a guy asked me via text, within ten to fifteen minutes of me giving him my number, "What is the sexiest thing you've ever done for a guy?" - I responded by saying, "this question is inappropriate and what happened to questions like, What is your favorite type of music?" I then said, "don't think we should continue texting and like I already told you, I prefer to have actual conversations." I know I may sound harsh, but I was only protecting myself.
Don't abuse the fact that she gave you her number. In other words, don't smother her with 200 text messages a day, there is a thing called a J-O-B, we all have to go to it, so remember, slow and steady wins the race.
Don't tell her something just to impress her... she will find out.
Don't lie.
Don't post millions of pic of you posing in front of the mirror, what I refer to as "mirror shots," 9 times out of 10, I don't talk to a guy that has them, in my opinion that are trashy. Also, it goes along with that whole "selfie" thing noted above... just not for me, but may work for others.
More than anything, be true to who you are and don't try to put on a front like you are someone you are not. If you are looking for a hook-up, say it, sadly there are girls out there looking for the same. If you are genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship, state that and let your actions back up your words.
Good gracious, this "90 year old" needs to go to bed and needs to end her match.com subscription swift, quick, and in a hurry. Please, Dear Lord, send me a good, old fashioned, country boy that loves Jesus!!!
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