favorite no more and maybe some guidelines

to say that sometimes we completely miss the obvious would be an understatement.  in my previous post, i referred to one guy as "favorite" because i was so enjoying texting with him and getting to know him better.  typically i take forever to tell a story, can give you every tiny little detail about a story, but for this one, i cannot. i will tell you some of the details, but know this... i am a very smart girl, and sometimes i make mistakes, but i am beyond thankful for God's protection and His reminders that sometimes we just have to trust HIM. 

favorite and i had been texting a lot last week, and he was very flattering, very flirtacious, and made me laugh a lot.  sometimes i wasn't sure if he was kidding or if was being serious, but overall the only two red flags were his age (27) and a comment he said early on while texting.  as for his age, i am extremely mature and i was just a little worried that a 27 year old may not be mature enough for me, but i know there are many 27 year olds that could be, so i was willing to give it a try.  as for his comment, he asked me early on what i was looking for on match.  i responded by saying that i am open minded and like to meet new people, but ultimately i am looking for something serious/long term.  he responded, "same here, but it is hard to think that someone would meet someone serious on match."  i told him that i have many friends that have, and he said, "good to know it has worked for some, lol."  i told some of my friends about this and some took it different ways, but my intuition said that he probably wasn't looking for the same thing as me. 

he continued texting me, we were getting to know each other, things were going well... friday he asked me if we could hang out.  his text to me said, "let's hang out and watch a movie at your place."  i responded and said, "how about we meet in public first."  this texting exchange went back and forth for quite a while with suggesting many different things or places for us to meet anywhere but my place.  i said, how about coffee, his response, i won't drink coffee at night as it will keep me up.  okay, how about we watch the Oklahoma game vs Texas A&M and get a beer at Duckworth's, his response, i don't drink... do what???  It doesn't say this on his profile.  why i didn't immediately say, forget it we are not meeting up is beyond me, but i had really enjoyed getting to know him and sometimes, no matter how smart we are, guys can be manipulative and flattery gets you a long way.  so, long story short, he somehow convinced me that it was okay that we watch a movie at my place.  this is where i know that i was so wrong, but again, we ALL make mistakes. 

we get upstairs and for a good hour and a half we talk about things, and i thought... Wow, this guy really did just want to come to my place to get to know me.  i was super impressed.  he talked all about how he goes to a local church, he knew the pastor, he was in a small group, and on and on he went.  i was buying whatever he was selling, ha.  after about an hour and a half, he switched (like night and day).  he started by asking if i felt comfortable with him, to which i kind of laughed and said yes, so he asked if he could put his arm around me, i said yes.  after this, it was game on for him.  he turned into a sex-crazed maniac.  he tried everything.  he said very dirty things, and tried everything to get me to do things with him, but i held my ground.  i wasn't 100% shocked by this behavior because this is how all the guys in college treated me, so i was kind of having flashbacks, but i knew that i had to get this guy out of my condo without making him mad.  he continued for at least two hours.  it even got to the point, where he literally exposed himself, begging me to do things to him... i wish i could say that i am making this up, but i am not.  homeboy sat there for at least 20 minutes begging, all while i was begging him to get out of my condo and to put it away.  my best friend who always knows exactly where i am was texting me and i kept responding saying things like, please respond again, or no it isn't going well, etc... so i think the continued dings on my phone made him nervous which then made him want to leave. 

as he was finally leaving, he asked me if i was going to tell my friends, i said, UM, YES.  he said, this has happened to me before, girls tell their friends and they don't hang out with me anymore.  i said, well maybe that should tell you something, you don't respect girls.  he said, its really that i get caught up in the moment and i am so attracted to you, i can't help myself, are you kidding me.  i nearly fell out.  guys are ricidulous. 

i immediately prayed a prayer of praise and thanks, as i am so thankful that God gave me the type of personality that was able to put him in his place.  i am thankful that i was able to get him out of my house and that he has left me alone since then. 

so, the point of this blog is to share a few rules for any of you out there that may decide to try online dating::

1. no matter how comfortable you feel or think a guy is making you feel by phone or text, whatever you do, don't allow him to come to your house on a first meeting (i know this seems obvious and i am smart, but guys can be manipulative)

2. always tell friends (many of them) where you are going... my best friend ALWAYS knows exactly where i am, knows every detail that i do about the guy. 

3. keep your phone close by, just in case:)

4. don't be so scared that you can't have fun, but also be cautious... i think you can do both.

5. don't compromise what you are looking for. 

if nothing else, this most recent experience has made me more aware of the importance of not compromising.  i want a man who loves the Lord and who respects me.  i would honestly rather be single than to find someone who doesn't have a relationship with God or has no faith, as i personally believe that a relationship built without God in the center of it will not last.