i cannot make this stuff up

so, there are a couple of guys that have been emailing/texting recently, so i thought i'd update you on the latest in my dating chronicles, haha

1) jeremy, started out emailing and seemed really nice.  after about a week, asked for my number to "text" didn't even mention calling, of course.  the catch with him is that he is 35.  i thought for sure he would call, how is it that someone who is older than me, doesn't call, so ANNOYING.  regardless, i gave him my number, and i have since learned that he is currently unemployed, because he used to coach college football and is now trying to teach and coach high school football.  this was his decision, according to him, he wanted to move back to SC, so he is waiting to get into the PACE program and is not working.  i don't have an exhaustive list and have tried to be very understanding about a lot of things and be less picky, but really ambition and employment is kind of huge.  it is annoying to me that he is not working and he texts me all through out the day about nothing.  i am working and i am busy.  i thought i'd post you a pick of the nonsense he sends me all throughout my day. notice the times, all through my workday. 

2) another guy, whom i will call OJ, had winked at me (some ridiculous feature of match.com) a while back so i emailed him between christmas and new year's... never got a response, which is no big deal.  honestly, i never thought twice and forgot all about him, until the other night.  i am about to go to bed and get an email from him.  he apologizes for delay in response but explains he has a reason.  (if you haven't heard me discuss how guys are somehow drawn to tell me their whole life story on day 1, then you may not think this one is as funny).  so, goes on to explain that shortly after signing up for match, he received a call explaining to him that he had an almost 5 year old son that he wasn't aware of.  he said, obviously my focus has been on him, being a good day, and all of that for the past three weeks, but i am not going to turn down the opportunity to date someone... so if you would like to get to know each other, that would be great, but i understand if not.  seriously, what in the world...

3) i have another guy that is my favorite, but last time that was dangerous and turned out horrible.  i'll call this guy church softball, as my best friend, lindsey, gives them all nicknames.  he is nice, very slow to respond, but seems very normal.  i am praying that if it is in God's will He will orchestrate it and i am not trying to be pushy.

oh and a few more friends have people they want to set me up with, but for now, i'll just leave those alone.  i will say that one is 32 and likes glee, i cannot even imagine, but again, i try to have an open mind and be open to at least meeting guys once:)

if you are married or in a serious relationship, be so very thankful, dating is for the birds, ha!

speed dating, what???

a friend tonight suggested i try speed dating... usually i am up for pretty much anything, but this is enough to make me want to break out in hives.  okay, well no one wants to break out in hives, but i am pretty sure this is nerve-racking as all get out.  you see, i can do online dating and talk to guys one on one, but the thought of being in a room with other girls and guys and being sized up or judged within five to ten minutes, oh dear... and then having to face rejection in person, this could be really fun, really terrible, really funny, so many things all in one.  i may try it, may not, and the best part, these planners made it the day before the most ridiculous holiday on the planet, valentine's day, haha.  wish me luck if i decide to do it:)

favorite no more and maybe some guidelines

to say that sometimes we completely miss the obvious would be an understatement.  in my previous post, i referred to one guy as "favorite" because i was so enjoying texting with him and getting to know him better.  typically i take forever to tell a story, can give you every tiny little detail about a story, but for this one, i cannot. i will tell you some of the details, but know this... i am a very smart girl, and sometimes i make mistakes, but i am beyond thankful for God's protection and His reminders that sometimes we just have to trust HIM. 

favorite and i had been texting a lot last week, and he was very flattering, very flirtacious, and made me laugh a lot.  sometimes i wasn't sure if he was kidding or if was being serious, but overall the only two red flags were his age (27) and a comment he said early on while texting.  as for his age, i am extremely mature and i was just a little worried that a 27 year old may not be mature enough for me, but i know there are many 27 year olds that could be, so i was willing to give it a try.  as for his comment, he asked me early on what i was looking for on match.  i responded by saying that i am open minded and like to meet new people, but ultimately i am looking for something serious/long term.  he responded, "same here, but it is hard to think that someone would meet someone serious on match."  i told him that i have many friends that have, and he said, "good to know it has worked for some, lol."  i told some of my friends about this and some took it different ways, but my intuition said that he probably wasn't looking for the same thing as me. 

he continued texting me, we were getting to know each other, things were going well... friday he asked me if we could hang out.  his text to me said, "let's hang out and watch a movie at your place."  i responded and said, "how about we meet in public first."  this texting exchange went back and forth for quite a while with suggesting many different things or places for us to meet anywhere but my place.  i said, how about coffee, his response, i won't drink coffee at night as it will keep me up.  okay, how about we watch the Oklahoma game vs Texas A&M and get a beer at Duckworth's, his response, i don't drink... do what???  It doesn't say this on his profile.  why i didn't immediately say, forget it we are not meeting up is beyond me, but i had really enjoyed getting to know him and sometimes, no matter how smart we are, guys can be manipulative and flattery gets you a long way.  so, long story short, he somehow convinced me that it was okay that we watch a movie at my place.  this is where i know that i was so wrong, but again, we ALL make mistakes. 

we get upstairs and for a good hour and a half we talk about things, and i thought... Wow, this guy really did just want to come to my place to get to know me.  i was super impressed.  he talked all about how he goes to a local church, he knew the pastor, he was in a small group, and on and on he went.  i was buying whatever he was selling, ha.  after about an hour and a half, he switched (like night and day).  he started by asking if i felt comfortable with him, to which i kind of laughed and said yes, so he asked if he could put his arm around me, i said yes.  after this, it was game on for him.  he turned into a sex-crazed maniac.  he tried everything.  he said very dirty things, and tried everything to get me to do things with him, but i held my ground.  i wasn't 100% shocked by this behavior because this is how all the guys in college treated me, so i was kind of having flashbacks, but i knew that i had to get this guy out of my condo without making him mad.  he continued for at least two hours.  it even got to the point, where he literally exposed himself, begging me to do things to him... i wish i could say that i am making this up, but i am not.  homeboy sat there for at least 20 minutes begging, all while i was begging him to get out of my condo and to put it away.  my best friend who always knows exactly where i am was texting me and i kept responding saying things like, please respond again, or no it isn't going well, etc... so i think the continued dings on my phone made him nervous which then made him want to leave. 

as he was finally leaving, he asked me if i was going to tell my friends, i said, UM, YES.  he said, this has happened to me before, girls tell their friends and they don't hang out with me anymore.  i said, well maybe that should tell you something, you don't respect girls.  he said, its really that i get caught up in the moment and i am so attracted to you, i can't help myself, are you kidding me.  i nearly fell out.  guys are ricidulous. 

i immediately prayed a prayer of praise and thanks, as i am so thankful that God gave me the type of personality that was able to put him in his place.  i am thankful that i was able to get him out of my house and that he has left me alone since then. 

so, the point of this blog is to share a few rules for any of you out there that may decide to try online dating::

1. no matter how comfortable you feel or think a guy is making you feel by phone or text, whatever you do, don't allow him to come to your house on a first meeting (i know this seems obvious and i am smart, but guys can be manipulative)

2. always tell friends (many of them) where you are going... my best friend ALWAYS knows exactly where i am, knows every detail that i do about the guy. 

3. keep your phone close by, just in case:)

4. don't be so scared that you can't have fun, but also be cautious... i think you can do both.

5. don't compromise what you are looking for. 

if nothing else, this most recent experience has made me more aware of the importance of not compromising.  i want a man who loves the Lord and who respects me.  i would honestly rather be single than to find someone who doesn't have a relationship with God or has no faith, as i personally believe that a relationship built without God in the center of it will not last. 

texting versus calling

just a quick little update...

so, recently a lot of the guys i was emailing with on match decided that they wanted to switch forms of communication by getting my number.  back in the day, this may have been a lot harder to manage (sounds like i am dating a lot of guys, but i am not.. read on... i explain), but 99% of them text only, they never call.  i am talker, i love to talk and i like to learn more about the guy too.  texting is dumb when getting to know someone.  i honestly don't mind texting normally, but in the beginning how in the world can you get to know someone when all you text is one line things, "how are you?" or "how was your day?" it is hard too because you don't know if they are sitting down and want to continually text you or not, i could go on and on with my frustrations, but i will stop there for a minute.

so, guy 1 (we will call him "hunter") immediately bypassed emailing and asked for my number, i gave it to him thinking that he would probably text a lot, not at all... he says hardly anything.  literally he asked me my NYE plans, told me about driving back from a recent family vacay, and i am at a loss as to what i am supposed to say?  is it my responsibility to ask all the questions?  i sure hope not, but if you called me, i could carry on a conversation any day.

so, guy 2 (we will call him "gamecock") emailed a little and then sent me an email that said, "okay, i think we have emailed enough that i think you are legitimate."  ok wow.  so, then he started texting me, and at least he held somewhat of a conversation... he asked one point blank question, "why am i still single?"  really, i have no idea other than to say that clearly it hasn't been in God's will and perfect timing, do i think there is something wrong with me, no, but sometimes we don't know the why and we just have to choose to trust:)  how do you say all of that through text, i had to shorten it a lot, haha.  then he asked another strange question, or at least i thought it was, he asked me to send a picture to him...really.  okay, while it may be okay for others, not judging others here, but this girl is not going to hold her phone up and take a picture of herself nor am i going to stand in front of a mirror to take a picture... it will never happen. period.  so, i said, are the ones on my profile not enough, i had to crop those to have any by myself, i just don't take pictures by myself, not my thing.  apparently, his reasoning was that he wanted to save my picture to my phone number, do you have that many girls that you are dating/talking to that you can't sort them all out or remember them without having a picture?  what.in.the.world.  he seems very nice aside from this, and he is a country boy, so we will see:)

so, guy 3 (my favorite right now), we can call him "favorite."  he seem very normal and my type from the emails we exchanged.  yesterday he asked for my number, "so he could give me a call sometime."  i thought, even more my type, he is actually going to call and not just text.  wrong, he text me today... not that it would be a problem, but i was excited to hear from him, and he just stopped responding, so annoying.

can someone please explain to me why this is the popular form of communication.  i hate it when getting to know a guy.  i want to talk to them, i want to get to know the basics, and it makes it so much harder.  i have a smartphone, so texting isn't hard or anything, i just want to be able to have a conversation that flows.  goodness this generation is rarely focused on one thing, we all are so easily distracted and this only adds fuel to those fires.  i think gamecock and i were texting and he disappeared for like 20 minutes... he came back and said, sorry i was folding clothes?

okay, i guess i am over my venting now, but i will continue to hope and pray that guys will actually call, maybe a mix of the two would be nice:)

oh dating why are you so awkward?