so, I have not updated in quite a while, because I have taken a real break from online dating, possibly for good. the truth is, I have been trying online dating for about 6-8 years (gosh, that in and of itself is so lame), and it has not ended the way I want. the truth is, I am a control freak. I like to know that I am doing something to change the outcome. I think the thought or idea that I am truly doing nothing, terrifies me. I mean, I can only blame myself if I am single, if I am doing nothing to change it, right? one of my dearest friends encouraged me to completely surrender being single to God. now, I am sure I have said I have before, but the truth is, I'd been holding onto some part of it and not fully trusting/surrendering. so, back in late September/early October, I completely deleted all of my online profiles. there should not be anything out there. it has been so freeing, but also kind of boring, ha. while first dates are no picnic or loads of fun (most of the time), it still makes you feel desired, like there are interested guys, etc. I have not been on a date in about 4 months, and I am learning to be okay with that.
so, for the few people who still read this, if anyone, that is why there has been no updates. maybe one day i'll venture back on there, but for now, I am finding peace in the singleness and holding onto my faith and trust in Him and His plans for my life.
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
koshi
so, this one is still a little fresh and hard to type about right now, but I am going to try...
so, I met this guy only a few short days after mcfly (see previous post) and it was a total surprise. I only told two people that I was meeting this guy, because typically when I open my mouth it falls apart. so, I had zero expectations, but I was so pleasantly surprised. our first date was at a Japanese steakhouse. the whole time, I kept waiting on the "red flag" or something to happen, because it is so rare that I go on a first date and it is normal. he was so nice, such a gentleman (did not try to attack me or give me an uninvited kiss), had a good job, loved his family, went to nc state, etc. we made plans to go on another date, and this girl was more shocked than anyone.
he was a little shy at first, and I was struggling with why he was not opening up, but I was hopeful he would start to share more and he did. he was a believer, but had not been actively attending church. he was more than willing to attend church with me, or so he said. I am not going to go into a lot of detail, but I told him my faith was important and shapes who I am. as you can imagine dating in your 30s is so not easy. he respected that and seemed to be supportive, but I think a part of me knew deep down that I could not date or be with someone whose faith was not important as well.
we went on 7 dates, yall! I know you are probably like, what in the world. we did typical dates like dinner, movies, bowling, etc. I had a lot of fun with him and slowly but surely, his dry sense of humor was coming out.
we had date 8 planned for sunday night, and well... he text me that day and said, he was not going to be able to make and that he had been thinking a lot and said that he just did not think there was enough "spark" to pursue this further. i'd be lying if I said I was not shocked; I really was. I was obviously a little sad, but have been trying to remind myself that this had to be God's protection.
sunday and Monday, my biggest frustration was that I feel like a broken record to my friends. I feel like this is my life and I should be used to it by now. it is like the same story, just a different day. unfortunately, I am ever so hopeful each time and my friends so want this for me just as much as I want this. I hate having to tell them when things do not work out, but goodness God has always blessed me with the most amazing friends. I am so thankful that they are on this journey with me, because I could not get through it without them.
i wish i had the answers or understood what God's plan is, but for now i do not. am i sad some days, yes, but at the same time, i have so much to be thankful for. i wish this was not my greatest hearts desire, but it is. i have prayed for God to take the desire away and that has not happened, but i read this the other night and it is perfect.
so, I met this guy only a few short days after mcfly (see previous post) and it was a total surprise. I only told two people that I was meeting this guy, because typically when I open my mouth it falls apart. so, I had zero expectations, but I was so pleasantly surprised. our first date was at a Japanese steakhouse. the whole time, I kept waiting on the "red flag" or something to happen, because it is so rare that I go on a first date and it is normal. he was so nice, such a gentleman (did not try to attack me or give me an uninvited kiss), had a good job, loved his family, went to nc state, etc. we made plans to go on another date, and this girl was more shocked than anyone.
he was a little shy at first, and I was struggling with why he was not opening up, but I was hopeful he would start to share more and he did. he was a believer, but had not been actively attending church. he was more than willing to attend church with me, or so he said. I am not going to go into a lot of detail, but I told him my faith was important and shapes who I am. as you can imagine dating in your 30s is so not easy. he respected that and seemed to be supportive, but I think a part of me knew deep down that I could not date or be with someone whose faith was not important as well.
we went on 7 dates, yall! I know you are probably like, what in the world. we did typical dates like dinner, movies, bowling, etc. I had a lot of fun with him and slowly but surely, his dry sense of humor was coming out.
we had date 8 planned for sunday night, and well... he text me that day and said, he was not going to be able to make and that he had been thinking a lot and said that he just did not think there was enough "spark" to pursue this further. i'd be lying if I said I was not shocked; I really was. I was obviously a little sad, but have been trying to remind myself that this had to be God's protection.
sunday and Monday, my biggest frustration was that I feel like a broken record to my friends. I feel like this is my life and I should be used to it by now. it is like the same story, just a different day. unfortunately, I am ever so hopeful each time and my friends so want this for me just as much as I want this. I hate having to tell them when things do not work out, but goodness God has always blessed me with the most amazing friends. I am so thankful that they are on this journey with me, because I could not get through it without them.
i wish i had the answers or understood what God's plan is, but for now i do not. am i sad some days, yes, but at the same time, i have so much to be thankful for. i wish this was not my greatest hearts desire, but it is. i have prayed for God to take the desire away and that has not happened, but i read this the other night and it is perfect.
Monday, August 31, 2015
mcfly
so, I had taken a hiatus from dating, but I am slowly getting back into it...
so, I met a guy online (surprise), but the best part was that he knew lots of peeps from my hometown. we will call him mcfly, but I have friends that have gotten into the couple names (completely for fun), so we were "kmart." let me start by saying, he was so nice and absolutely hilarious. yall, he actually picked up the phone and CALLED me. we talked nearly every day or at least texted and it was so nice. seriously, it is such a lost art. I have never laughed as hard as I did while talking to him.
since we were in the thick of the summer and chaotic schedules, we talked for three weeks before meeting. this has its advantages and disadvantages, but for the most part I will not complain. if someone would have asked me before we actually met, if we would hit it off, I would have guaranteed it, but that is not how it worked out.
he was a firefighter, bird-dog lover, hunter, handy man, and apparently played the harmonica (I cannot even). he loved his family and was such a good uncle.
so, date day finally arrives and he got lost on the way to get me. (please note, I rarely let guys pick me up, but because we had so many mutual friends and no one had anything ugly or concerning to say, I let him.) I don't just mean a little lost, I mean like an hour. he called after about 45 minutes and was beyond frustrated and shouted a cuss word on the phone. (I am not holier than thou, but yelling the F word because you get lost is not good on a first date or ever, no matter which way you spin it.) so, the date started off on the wrong foot, but I was determined to have fun regardless.
unfortunately, his mannerisms and some things he said while on the date, quickly made me aware that this was not the guy for me. I had prayed for clarity from God all day, and I really felt like God did just that. after dinner, we sat outside and talked, etc. I was trying to give it the good ole' college try, but I was just not feeling it.
anyone who knows me, knows I have no poker face. I feel like my body language is the same way, but apparently not. we were standing looking at something and I can feel mcfly coming closer towards me. he had this look like he was going to kiss me, and I kept thinking, oh no, how do I get out of this? yall, this kiss was the worst thing I have ever experienced. I cannot do it justice in words, but I will do my best. he is facing me (obviously) and he puts both of his hands on the back of my head and starts moving my head all around. (cue motion sickness, haha)... I am kind of in shock and thinking, what in the world my head is being turned all different directions and then he is trying to kiss me. I felt like it was more like an animal attacking me; horrifying. this was the worst few seconds and worst kiss of my life. he did it again as I was trying to get him to leave to go home, and I was so completely baffled.
I hate when guys do not pick up on it, when I feel like I am making it obvious, but it is what it is. I had to tell him a few days later that I was not interested and did not feel it. he was very nice and I wish him nothing but the best.
so, I met a guy online (surprise), but the best part was that he knew lots of peeps from my hometown. we will call him mcfly, but I have friends that have gotten into the couple names (completely for fun), so we were "kmart." let me start by saying, he was so nice and absolutely hilarious. yall, he actually picked up the phone and CALLED me. we talked nearly every day or at least texted and it was so nice. seriously, it is such a lost art. I have never laughed as hard as I did while talking to him.
since we were in the thick of the summer and chaotic schedules, we talked for three weeks before meeting. this has its advantages and disadvantages, but for the most part I will not complain. if someone would have asked me before we actually met, if we would hit it off, I would have guaranteed it, but that is not how it worked out.
he was a firefighter, bird-dog lover, hunter, handy man, and apparently played the harmonica (I cannot even). he loved his family and was such a good uncle.
so, date day finally arrives and he got lost on the way to get me. (please note, I rarely let guys pick me up, but because we had so many mutual friends and no one had anything ugly or concerning to say, I let him.) I don't just mean a little lost, I mean like an hour. he called after about 45 minutes and was beyond frustrated and shouted a cuss word on the phone. (I am not holier than thou, but yelling the F word because you get lost is not good on a first date or ever, no matter which way you spin it.) so, the date started off on the wrong foot, but I was determined to have fun regardless.
unfortunately, his mannerisms and some things he said while on the date, quickly made me aware that this was not the guy for me. I had prayed for clarity from God all day, and I really felt like God did just that. after dinner, we sat outside and talked, etc. I was trying to give it the good ole' college try, but I was just not feeling it.
anyone who knows me, knows I have no poker face. I feel like my body language is the same way, but apparently not. we were standing looking at something and I can feel mcfly coming closer towards me. he had this look like he was going to kiss me, and I kept thinking, oh no, how do I get out of this? yall, this kiss was the worst thing I have ever experienced. I cannot do it justice in words, but I will do my best. he is facing me (obviously) and he puts both of his hands on the back of my head and starts moving my head all around. (cue motion sickness, haha)... I am kind of in shock and thinking, what in the world my head is being turned all different directions and then he is trying to kiss me. I felt like it was more like an animal attacking me; horrifying. this was the worst few seconds and worst kiss of my life. he did it again as I was trying to get him to leave to go home, and I was so completely baffled.
I hate when guys do not pick up on it, when I feel like I am making it obvious, but it is what it is. I had to tell him a few days later that I was not interested and did not feel it. he was very nice and I wish him nothing but the best.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
next dud up... OTIS
so, i thought i'd jump back into online dating again, because last time i checked, i am still working from home and not having a whole lot of opportunities to meet new guys. i have also come to the conclusion that this is truly an area that i cannot control, so whatever God intends to happen, it will. i will keep putting myself out there, in hopes that one day it will be in His will, but until then... let the dating nightmares continue:)
so, i met "otis" online and we text for about two weeks. he was straight up funny, which was so refreshing. i felt like we had a lot in common, so i was excited to meet him. after two weeks of communicating, we decided to meet. so the plan was to go to park lanes (and bowl) and then grab dinner. we arrive at park lanes all to learn it is league night. he felt really bad that he didn't check into that first, but it did not matter. they said a lane would be open at 9. so, we head out to grab a bite to eat first at braswells (across the street). dinner was fine, he talked a lot. he had lots of big toys, so that was a huge part of our disussion, and quite honestly i could care less. i don't want to know that you and your buddy drove 120 mph on your motorcycles to take a 1000 mile road trip and made it in 6 hours. that sounds extremely dangerous. conversation was okay, but nothing that blew it out of the park for him.
after dinner, about 8:45/9ish, we headed back out to the parking lot and he was telling me how he makes big life decisions by flipping a coin. i am somewhat laughing at how ridiculous this sounds, but listening to his logic. he bought a fixer upper of a beach house on a coin toss and his new truck. he said it was too good of a deal to pass up, and since he couldn't decide, he flipped a coin. yall... this type A personality was thinking this is truly nuts. i mean, is he going to flip a coin to decide if he should marry someone one day?!?! so, it was getting late, and he said, "why don't we flip a coin to decide if we are going to bowl?" i am thinking, sure, he will do this and no matter what side it lands on, he will change so we can extend our date. well, i was wrong. imagine that one! he flips, i call heads and it lands on tails. so, we leave. we do not go bowl, and i was somewhat in shock. not because i had this amazingly awesome time, but more because you would think that a guy would want to continue to hang out with you. that was a new one on me, and i have seen a lot.
so, i heard from him for the next 5 days, via text. i was willingn to go back out with him, and see if maybe a lot of it wasn't nerves or something.
then he vanished.... about a week or so after i had not heard from him, i sent him a text and said, "i hope you are doing well. havevn't heard from you in a few days, so good luck in your search." i heard nada, nothing, crickets.
oh, and if you are wondering why his nickname was otis. he worked for otis elevators. crystal and dusty came up with that one, so funny.
i was telling a friend yesterday that i would love and just wish that instead of vanishing (stopping all communication or not responding) that they would man up and say, "i am not interested in you because..." i like to assume and that never gets anyone anywhere good, so it is probably best that i not know and leave it as God's protection from a jerk.
so, i met "otis" online and we text for about two weeks. he was straight up funny, which was so refreshing. i felt like we had a lot in common, so i was excited to meet him. after two weeks of communicating, we decided to meet. so the plan was to go to park lanes (and bowl) and then grab dinner. we arrive at park lanes all to learn it is league night. he felt really bad that he didn't check into that first, but it did not matter. they said a lane would be open at 9. so, we head out to grab a bite to eat first at braswells (across the street). dinner was fine, he talked a lot. he had lots of big toys, so that was a huge part of our disussion, and quite honestly i could care less. i don't want to know that you and your buddy drove 120 mph on your motorcycles to take a 1000 mile road trip and made it in 6 hours. that sounds extremely dangerous. conversation was okay, but nothing that blew it out of the park for him.
after dinner, about 8:45/9ish, we headed back out to the parking lot and he was telling me how he makes big life decisions by flipping a coin. i am somewhat laughing at how ridiculous this sounds, but listening to his logic. he bought a fixer upper of a beach house on a coin toss and his new truck. he said it was too good of a deal to pass up, and since he couldn't decide, he flipped a coin. yall... this type A personality was thinking this is truly nuts. i mean, is he going to flip a coin to decide if he should marry someone one day?!?! so, it was getting late, and he said, "why don't we flip a coin to decide if we are going to bowl?" i am thinking, sure, he will do this and no matter what side it lands on, he will change so we can extend our date. well, i was wrong. imagine that one! he flips, i call heads and it lands on tails. so, we leave. we do not go bowl, and i was somewhat in shock. not because i had this amazingly awesome time, but more because you would think that a guy would want to continue to hang out with you. that was a new one on me, and i have seen a lot.
so, i heard from him for the next 5 days, via text. i was willingn to go back out with him, and see if maybe a lot of it wasn't nerves or something.
then he vanished.... about a week or so after i had not heard from him, i sent him a text and said, "i hope you are doing well. havevn't heard from you in a few days, so good luck in your search." i heard nada, nothing, crickets.
oh, and if you are wondering why his nickname was otis. he worked for otis elevators. crystal and dusty came up with that one, so funny.
i was telling a friend yesterday that i would love and just wish that instead of vanishing (stopping all communication or not responding) that they would man up and say, "i am not interested in you because..." i like to assume and that never gets anyone anywhere good, so it is probably best that i not know and leave it as God's protection from a jerk.
Monday, August 18, 2014
this one is worth the read...
okay, so get ready for a good one! i have been asking my single friends to send me examples of the crazy things we encounter in this crazy dating world... i have a few examples for you. i have pictures, as i honestly could not even come up with these examples. i thought i'd stereotype the guys we encounter...
the super shallow guy.
while we all know that guys typically value looks more than personality, most guys would not be so brutally honest. i feel as though, they can not message you back or not agree to go on a date with you because they aren't attracted to you, but rarely do they just say it out right... without further explanation, here are two great examples. these two guys were from friends of mine.
the super shallow guy.
while we all know that guys typically value looks more than personality, most guys would not be so brutally honest. i feel as though, they can not message you back or not agree to go on a date with you because they aren't attracted to you, but rarely do they just say it out right... without further explanation, here are two great examples. these two guys were from friends of mine.
Mark may need serious prayer, and I hope someone puts him in his place very soon.
the desperate guy. (introduction email is a marriage proposal)
the married guy. (i wish i could say that this wasn't one i encountered, but it was. so very sad)
yall dating is HARD. while there are definitely great christian men out there, they are very hard to find. i say this all the time, but if you are married, be so unbelievably thankful. i may add more to these later, but for now, enjoy our crazy adventures dating in 2014.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
i cannot make this stuff up....
so, i took about a three to four month break from online dating, as i was truly just exhausted from the awkward first dates, the ups and downs, and so much more. i was finally ready to join the online dating world again, after that much needed break. pretty quickly i got matched up with some cute guys and i was excited.
"two-timer" was the first guy. obviously from the name alone, you know this doesn't end well. i was genuinely so excited to meet him. he seemed so nice, very funny, and it was just easy to talk to him. after about a week and a half of us messaging one another, he asked to meet up. i will not bore you all with the details of the next part, but suffice it to say that we realized we had a mutual friend, and it was a girl he dated. he told me to talk to her, so i did. she said that they dated for about three months, and that he was the one guy she would go back out with, if he asked. wow. i couldn't believe my luck. if they had just gone on a few casual dates or met for dinner and coffee, then i could deal with that. unfortunately, that was not the case. so, i had peace in my decision, that we would not meet. it gets better though. my friend is still friends with him on FB, so she sent me a screen shot a few days after all this went down that said he was in a relationship. now, i know 13 year olds post funny things, like in a relationship with their bffs, but not grown men. it really stinks, because i thought he was a great guy, super respectful, and overall a great guy...i was wrong. i can see that all of this was God's protection, but sometimes i am in disbelief at what i encounter.
second guy didn't really get a nickname, but he was a civil engineer, so we can call him that. we messaged for about a week or two and then he asked to meet up. unfortunately, our schedules did not mesh well because i was travelilng for work/going out of town and his schedule, so it was supposed to be this week. well,, i didn't hear from him for a few days, so i sent him a message yesterday saying it was nice to get to know him a little, but good luck in his search since i hadn't heard from him. he responded later and basically told me that he was really sorry that he hadn't reached out to schedule a time to meet, but a girl he has dated on and off for a year, reached back out last sunday, and he has been trying to figure out if he wants to date her again. he told me he was "emotionally unavailable." a good friend of mine, was like, isn't that something girls say, hahaha. so, another one bites the dust.
this road of singleness is hard, but definitely provides entertainment. i will keep posting, but i am going to make this blog private. i don't want any of these guys getting access to my stories. if you want to be added, let me know.
"two-timer" was the first guy. obviously from the name alone, you know this doesn't end well. i was genuinely so excited to meet him. he seemed so nice, very funny, and it was just easy to talk to him. after about a week and a half of us messaging one another, he asked to meet up. i will not bore you all with the details of the next part, but suffice it to say that we realized we had a mutual friend, and it was a girl he dated. he told me to talk to her, so i did. she said that they dated for about three months, and that he was the one guy she would go back out with, if he asked. wow. i couldn't believe my luck. if they had just gone on a few casual dates or met for dinner and coffee, then i could deal with that. unfortunately, that was not the case. so, i had peace in my decision, that we would not meet. it gets better though. my friend is still friends with him on FB, so she sent me a screen shot a few days after all this went down that said he was in a relationship. now, i know 13 year olds post funny things, like in a relationship with their bffs, but not grown men. it really stinks, because i thought he was a great guy, super respectful, and overall a great guy...i was wrong. i can see that all of this was God's protection, but sometimes i am in disbelief at what i encounter.
second guy didn't really get a nickname, but he was a civil engineer, so we can call him that. we messaged for about a week or two and then he asked to meet up. unfortunately, our schedules did not mesh well because i was travelilng for work/going out of town and his schedule, so it was supposed to be this week. well,, i didn't hear from him for a few days, so i sent him a message yesterday saying it was nice to get to know him a little, but good luck in his search since i hadn't heard from him. he responded later and basically told me that he was really sorry that he hadn't reached out to schedule a time to meet, but a girl he has dated on and off for a year, reached back out last sunday, and he has been trying to figure out if he wants to date her again. he told me he was "emotionally unavailable." a good friend of mine, was like, isn't that something girls say, hahaha. so, another one bites the dust.
this road of singleness is hard, but definitely provides entertainment. i will keep posting, but i am going to make this blog private. i don't want any of these guys getting access to my stories. if you want to be added, let me know.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
no nickname
so, as you all know, lindsey jo picks the nicknames most of time for any guy i talk to, meet up with, date, etc. as with any girl or guy for that matter, we get our hopes up sometimes. this past weekend a guy started emailing me. we quickly realized we had a lot in common. so, we exchanged numbers and text back and forth for about an hour and a half. even though it was texting, which i am not always a huge fan of, the conversation was flowing. i was really enjoying getting to know him. i ended up ending the converstaion, only because i needed to go to bed. i tried to keep it to myself, but i was excited. so, i told a few friends to pray that i would be able to meet him.
so, long story short, we have text a few times this week, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. don't worry i am not planning the wedding or anything, ha, but he makes mention that he would like to meet up, but has not actually followed through. it is super frustrating. so, if you have not gathered yet, i say what is on my mind. while i want to be pursued and can be pretty old fashion, if i have nothing to lose, i'll say what i want. so, tonight, we were texting back and forth (i even initiated it, which i NEVER do) and i basically just said, "Well, I'm glad we got to chat for a little tonight. While I may have initiated texting you tonight, I'm not going to ask you out, so with that I'll just say, I'd like to meet up and the ball is in your court." His response, "Yes, I'll definitely do it." What in this world? If you are interested in someone, you ask them out. I got the message loud and clear, buddy.
Here's the deal, don't sign up for an online dating website, if you don't have enough guts to ask a girl out. I mean, for goodness sake, that is about the most ridiculous thing. It would be one thing if I hadn't reassured him all week that I was interested in getting to know him more. So, with that, I'll take what little pride I have left and move on.
homeboy didn't even get a nickname, as he moved on so fast, ha.
so, long story short, we have text a few times this week, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. don't worry i am not planning the wedding or anything, ha, but he makes mention that he would like to meet up, but has not actually followed through. it is super frustrating. so, if you have not gathered yet, i say what is on my mind. while i want to be pursued and can be pretty old fashion, if i have nothing to lose, i'll say what i want. so, tonight, we were texting back and forth (i even initiated it, which i NEVER do) and i basically just said, "Well, I'm glad we got to chat for a little tonight. While I may have initiated texting you tonight, I'm not going to ask you out, so with that I'll just say, I'd like to meet up and the ball is in your court." His response, "Yes, I'll definitely do it." What in this world? If you are interested in someone, you ask them out. I got the message loud and clear, buddy.
Here's the deal, don't sign up for an online dating website, if you don't have enough guts to ask a girl out. I mean, for goodness sake, that is about the most ridiculous thing. It would be one thing if I hadn't reassured him all week that I was interested in getting to know him more. So, with that, I'll take what little pride I have left and move on.
homeboy didn't even get a nickname, as he moved on so fast, ha.
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