so, I have not updated in quite a while, because I have taken a real break from online dating, possibly for good. the truth is, I have been trying online dating for about 6-8 years (gosh, that in and of itself is so lame), and it has not ended the way I want. the truth is, I am a control freak. I like to know that I am doing something to change the outcome. I think the thought or idea that I am truly doing nothing, terrifies me. I mean, I can only blame myself if I am single, if I am doing nothing to change it, right? one of my dearest friends encouraged me to completely surrender being single to God. now, I am sure I have said I have before, but the truth is, I'd been holding onto some part of it and not fully trusting/surrendering. so, back in late September/early October, I completely deleted all of my online profiles. there should not be anything out there. it has been so freeing, but also kind of boring, ha. while first dates are no picnic or loads of fun (most of the time), it still makes you feel desired, like there are interested guys, etc. I have not been on a date in about 4 months, and I am learning to be okay with that.
so, for the few people who still read this, if anyone, that is why there has been no updates. maybe one day i'll venture back on there, but for now, I am finding peace in the singleness and holding onto my faith and trust in Him and His plans for my life.
